Of Cheerleaders

This guy captures it so succinctly. Probably explains why the many home football, basketball and volleyball games are always so popular with fans. :P

Ode To The Cheerleader

O, Cheerleader! What is about you that has so captivated the hearts of sports fans, lo these many years?

Is it your bright smiles, shining gloriously no matter the score? Your brilliant white teeth always on guard so that no athlete could look your way without seeing that pearly reminder to B - E aggressive …

Is it the pom-poms? Those puffy beacons of revelry that never fail to lift the spirits of even the most downtrodden crowd …

Is it the cheers themselves? The chants and calls that rile the spirit, rally the will, and spur the flesh to rise up and conquer the most dreaded foe …

Is it the pyramids? The backflips? The lifts? The throws? The stunning acrobatics that send nubile young bodies hurtling through the skies like angels heralding the latest victory of our favorite squads …

Is it the sweaters? Soft, fluffy, form-fitting cotton hugging your curves, inviting us into the warming embrace of the name emblazoned across your chest — our alma mater (Latin for "nourishing mother") …

Is it the skirts? Short and sweet no matter the weather, keeping exposed the nimble legs that drive your performance. (You're an athlete too, you know!) The ruffled symbol of your very cheerleaderness, fluttering with every movement, tantalizingly rising and falling with each shake of your hips, every kick and tumble and jump offering an all-too-brief glimpse of your panties, which match the rest of your uniform, because we can totally see it, but you know that and you don't care, which is what makes it so freakin' cool, because where else can you be allowed, in fact, encouraged to try and look in a girl's drawers, while also enjoying a beer and a football game … it's like, holy crap, we live in a great country, and your skirts should fly on a flag post right next to Old Glory, because dammit, I'll sure as hell salute!

Anyway … whatever it is, hold on to that uniform. No matter how old you get, you can always break it out and make some guy very, very happy.