Monday, June 05, 2006

Popping the cherry...

Some comments by a friend on dating and marriage. Sexual compatibility (or not) is something most folks tend to gloss over.

Friend: I'm a firm believer in the try before you buy theory. Having sex with someone deepens your relationship with someone in a way that makes it harder to hide yourself and vice-versa. You get a better idea of where you truly stand with someone. I could not imagine marrying someone without having had sex with them first.

However this does not mean I believe that sleeping with everyone (and anyone) is a good idea. Sex is extremely intimate (and I don't just mean in the obvious physical way). It is the closest it is possible to get to someone, so it is a decision that should not be entered into lightly.


A useful tidbit to remember in future.

8 comments:

Biao said...

I agree with the philosophy that your friend states, but I think that some people do not view sex as intimately as your friend so states, and engage in it more, ah, liberally.

What I'm trying to say is to know the difference between having an opinion and judging people. I'm not saying your friend is guilty of the latter, but that this is something to think about. (I know I probably judge too much myself.)

samuraibunny said...

it's kind of true ..

i may be generalising here, but people who get married, usually do so with the intention of staying together forever. and to put it bluntly, you don't want to end up marrying a lousy lay.

Peishan said...

eh comment whore, im just leaving one to make you happy; but you know my thoughts on it already. ;)

Unknown said...

is marriage all about sex? some might think so.

nevertheless, having sex before marriage with one whom *you're not marrying* provides for a bigger heartbreak.

it's not fair to your future wife (provided you end up not marrying your sex partner) and it's definitely not fair to your sex partner and your sex partner's soul-mate if you guys break up.

you want to enter into a relationship with a pure heart, body, mind and soul. it's the best gift you can give to your other half.

takchek said...

Exactly. I can't imagine copulating with a girl who simply spreads her legs open, then lie on the bed like a dead fish and expecting me to do the rest of the job. I will probably divorce or break up with her the next morning. :P

takchek said...

Oops, the above was directed to samuraibunny's comment.

Peishan said...

eh, you seem to be implying that you CAN imagine having sex (copulating seems so animalistic btw) with a girl who does the job while YOU lie there like a dead fish?

KnightofPentacles said...

There exists quite a bit of sociological research that show a link between cohabitation / premarital sex and the success of the post-marital relationship.

See:
http://members.aol.com/cohabiting/soc.htm


However you need to read that research with a critical eye due to their agenda. The obvious flaws in the report are mentioned in http://www.unmarried.org/10problems.php.