Sunday, November 19, 2006

Can one ever let go completely?

I had a dream this morning. In it, I was passing by my ex's house and just at that moment, she was walking out with a throng of folks in her wedding gown. There was this bridal car parked in front and a guy dressed in a western suit was waiting beside it. What happened after that was fuzzy, but I woke up crying.

There was too much shared history between us.

RJC library card


A friend invited me to his place for dinner last night in an attempt to introduce one of his (single) female friends to me. I turned it down to watch a volleyball game. We won, and now stand a good chance of advancing to the post-season NCAA tournament.



The Fall colors are beautiful.


Peishan said...

yah, dreams can be too real sometimes.

hope you're feeling better.

i think, with time (how much, depends on the individual), one can let go. at least, i want to believe so.

Anonymous said...

that's a painful dream.. hope you're feeling better.

vivienne said...

Your post reminded me of "25 minutes" by Michael learns to rock.

After some time I’ve finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I’m searching everywhere to find her again
To tell her I love her
And I’m sorry ’bout the things I’ve done

I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn’t search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she’s crying while she’s saying this

Boy I missed your kisses all the time but this is
Twenty five minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I’m sorry you are
Twenty five minutes too late

Anonymous said...

hi, i jus came across ur blog.

I had a bf once, he left me for another girl who was his "good" friend, a friend who has been by his side when I was busy studying my ass off in Australia.

Just when I thought I was over him, i had a similar dream like u.. and two days later, i heard from a mutual friend that he was marrying her. I ended up staying in bed for two days.

To your qns of "can one ever let go completely".. like wad I tell my current beau, both of us have had ex-es before. Whatever the reason of the breakup, there were intimate moments, fond memories. We shared our lives with someone else before and no matter what, those ex-es will always have a special place in our hearts...

What i am getting at is.. u can never really let go completely.. there will be some 'residue'.. it how you choose to look at it. Just learn from your mistakes, get over the betrayal and find someone who treats you right..

Btw, that ex of mine? was in a r/s with him for over a year and he never liked the idea of marriage.. and after being with that girl for 3 months, they prepared to get married within the year..(she was not pregnant, btw).

Took me close to 6 years to get over i wish him well? Does he have a special place in my heart? Do I miss him from time to time? Do I think abt him? Do I still love him?

The answer to the qns above is YES.

But, do I want him back? No. (nt because he is married).

I wish you nothing but well.. merry christmas and happy new yr.