My American friends are shocked to learn that most (unmarried) Singaporeans stay with their folks into their 30s (and beyond)...

One thing I really hate about staying in Singapore is the part about staying with my folks. I know they mean well, but they just get on my nerves by asking so many questions about my movements, and people I have been meeting. Machiam like I am still in secondary school.

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From FF's post:

JY msged me yesterday. My parents aren’t around this weekend, why don’t you come over? which I found quite amusing. Most single guys in Singapore live with their parents until they’re married or until they’ve reached a ripe old age such that they can afford to buy their own place.

Between living with their parents and buying their own place, they don’t seem to really find the need for their own space……….. that’s a quality I find very unattractive. I like a guy who values his own space…… and spare me the crap about filial piety. It’s not like you’re moving a thousand miles away. And if you stay because your parents aren’t happy that you’re a big boy and need your independence and want your own space, welll…… lagi more unattractive lor. And the worst argument has to be why should I waste money on rent when I can stay with my parents for free? Somemore my mother does my laundry and cleans my room for me.

But this is just my personal preference when it comes to guys. Maybe cos I’ve been living on my own for so many years. Shrug. :)

She should date guys who are already used to (and are) staying on their own...

Of guys with gold and UCal's PhD funding

There are gold diggers, and there are guys with gold but no women.

$772k bonus, a bright shiny condo, but life still empty?

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UC's officials now acknowledge their aid packages for doctoral students suck. So if you are considering any of the 10 campuses, beware!

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

The seventh copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard was bought by Amazon.com at the auction. I hope they will put in the details on the fairy tales for the HP fans.

Seven

I have read (and re-read) the entire HP series twice in the past month.

The seventh book was particularly intriguing - and I was drawn to many of its chapters again and again.

This section (Chapter 7, pp 115 - 116) is my personal favorite, if only because I identify strongly with it:

Ginny looked up into Harry's face, took a deep breadth, and said,
"Happy seventeenth."

"Yeah...thanks."

She was looking at him steadily; he, however, found it difficult to look back at her; it was like gazing into a brilliant light.

"Nice view," he said feebly, pointing toward the window.

She ignored this. He could not blame her.

"I couldn't think what to get you," she said.

"You didn't have to get me anything."

She disregarded this too.

"I didn't know what would be useful. Nothing too big, because you wouldn't be able to take it with you."

He chanced a glance at her. She was not tearful; that one of the most wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy. He had sometimes thought that having six brothers must have toughened her up.

She took a step closer to him.

"So then I thought, I'd like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you met some veela when you're off doing whatever you're doing."

"I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest."

"There's the silver lining I've been looking for," she whispered, and then she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before, and Harry was kissing her back, and it was blissful oblivion, better than firewhiskey; she was the only real thing in the world, Ginny, the feel of her, one hand at her back, and one in her long, sweet smelling hair -

*

Winter has arrived in Arizona with a vengeance, and it actually dipped into the 30s (F) at night in the Valley. Adding to that - it had been raining on-off almost continuously the past 6 days. Yes, you heard me right: rain in the Sonoran desert.

It is cold, it is wet, it gets dark early, and the pangs of loneliness bite the hardest at this time of the year.

That said, I will miss you, Arizona. It has been a wonderful 7 months.

*

A friend from my undergrad days will be inviting me to her place for a gathering later this month. She knows I am (still) single, and wants to introduce her secondary school classmate to me. To cut down on any possible awkwardness, there will be other couples, although we will be the only singles present.

I liked the way she broached this topic to me when we met on MSN:

"Do you mind over-achieving girls?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the girl has a Masters from LSE, and is a scholar (some high flyer at a ministry). But she has completed her bond. Her ex was some kind of lazy bum, D grades in the (local) uni and no ambitions in life; but she stood by him even helping him find a job in the civil service. He later dumped her for an older woman."

"OK, I don't mind making new friends. Is she tethered to Sg (emotionally)?"

"No. She is OK with moving out of Sg."

"Sure, we can meet up, and I can get you something from Arizona."

Apparently she had done quite a bit of homework on (both of us). It's funny how the first cut-off (from friends and family) would almost always be educational qualifications and job titles.

*

I will be (tentatively) meeting H. She asked me point blank to get her something from the US. Some kind of 见面礼.

The other Arizona

Last year I wrote brief descriptions about the attackers that brought the US into WWII. This year, I am in the state that gave its name to the ship that made history.

I wonder when I will visit Hawaii.

Memorial to an event that shook the world

'Famous People' Quiz

How many (out of 104) in this picture can you recognise?

I can only point out fewer than half of them.

Just another typical day at work...

A co-worker and I were discussing debating the impact of minute traces of silanols on one of our process steps.

Her: "Wow, your Org Chem is really good!"

Then my cubicle neighbor popped in.

"Did you just say Orc Chem?"

He had obviously been spending too much time on WoW.

Does Orc blood have these? Hmm...

*

A new hire joined our group last week, and was formally introduced to us this week.


Welcome!

*

Some email addresses and servers raise red flags, even when they are used for legitimate purposes. The woes of working in the high tech industry, more so when your products have obvious dual-use capabilities.

Gild the lily Ivy

The Dangerous Wealth of the Ivy League. The Gilded Age of America's Higher Education has begun.

The stark difference (at least in terms of the infrastructure and the cars the students drive) can be seen in an East Coast City which has 3 major universities - a private, extremely selective and wealthy college, a state flagship and a second third tier public institution that is mainly a commuter school. Just like the wards in a hospital, you have the A class, B class and C class.

A case of 锦上添花 vs 雪中送炭.

Black Friday Madness

Doesn't matter which state you are in, everyone's crazy. International shoppers contributed too.

I will be bringing home more gifts for my family. I had asked my folks what they want for X'mas, and I think they will be happy at my selection.

Perks of being in Academia

Congratulations on landing a tenure-track faculty position in one of America's finest research universities! Maybe one day we will be colleagues in rival schools.

You can also start thinking about this soon. After all, it is good to hear that your (future) employer is one of those that provides tuition assistance and preferential admissions consideration to the Other Legacies: Fac Brats.

Imagine offering this carrot to your prospective bride: "I may not be as rich as my peers in Wall Street, but I can guarantee our kids a higher chance of getting admitted to this super-elite university and paying no college tuition for 4 years."

College towns are also islands of (economic) stability, and regularly rank amongst the best places to raise a family in the US.

*

I think there are many advantages for exposing children to an academic environment early in their lives. They get *easy access* to some of the best facilities available - well-equipped libraries, sports complexes etc. If you are a faculty member in the engineering/physical/biological sciences, your children may get to see some of the most sophisticated (read: expensive) equipment and view for themselves what happens when you add X to Y, or how a yeast cell is like under the Atomic Force Microscope before and after budding, or how the fourth state of matter can be used to completely remove organic residues from a Si wafer.

For those who are more inclined towards the Arts, it doesn't hurt too to have them know your colleagues in the humanities departments.

They might get that edge when it comes to college applications time. What better than to be able to see what your child is up to in college? :)

(Note: This is NOT helicopter parenting.)

*

I come from a family of teachers. There has always been an emphasis towards excelling in school. It's not just about getting an A, but about doing the best you can. If your best means being able to top the cohort and you failed, it doesn't matter even if you get a distinction for the subject. You would have disappointed the family. Conversely, if your predicted grade is a C but you get a B, it is considered an achievement worthy of praise.

That said, I always felt I was subject to a higher standard than my peers simply because my mum is a teacher. I am expected to do well.

*

Does Steven Chu's family history sound very similar to the typical high-achieving Asian American family?

Winter Party 2007

The company will be holding its Winter Formal tonight. We were strongly encouraged to bring along a partner, but I have nobody to invite. She has already left. The current blog header picture is a penthouse view of the resort (where the Ball will be held).

The stuff of fairy tales.

I guess I will be one of those standing by the sides watching others dance.

*

In college I remember getting emails and paper notices from the student government inviting us for the Winter Formal. "A chance to ask your date out for a dance!" The flyers screamed. But I was in a long distance relationship.

So while the Formal was held in the Union Hall, I would trudge up the steps of the Capitol to see the Holiday Tree alone.


Outside the Union Hall


View of the Holiday Tree


Tree Lighted up

Current music: Pachelbel's canon in D major

The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test

My results and the website's comments (not surprising):

Your Score: Pure Nerd

78 % Nerd, 43% Geek, 43% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!

A pity really. I prefer to give my next SO this T-shirt for her birthday. Ha!



*

The Ultimate Nerd



“It’s le-vi-O-sa, not le-vi-o-SA.”

*I spent 8 hours two Saturdays ago reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows from start-to-finish. On Halloween, I wanted to dress up like Harry, and ended up exchanging charms, jinxes, curses and hexes with my co-worker, who is also a HP fan.

Can anyone say 'Boxer'?

This guy got pwned. Get ready for the newspeak from MinDeath sometime soon.

*I never have a good impression of SAF's Army regulars. I despise (most of) them.

Nov 6, 2007
Warrant officer asked to retire 5 years earlier

I WAS a regular serviceman in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF). I served a total of 32 years, comprising full-time national service, reservist and regular service, from 1974-2006.

I was one of more than 200 regular servicemen and women in the Army who were notified in May last year that we would be given Special Early Transition. Some of the reasons cited included difficulty in offering us 'suitable jobs' in the long run, restructuring and possible 'stagnation'. We were given only six months to transit.

Having attained the rank of a warrant officer in 2001, it meant that I was able to serve till the compulsory retirement age (CRA) of 55. I transitted last November after just turning 50, five years short of the CRA.

The Control of Personnel Centre announced that we were not under-performers. I was still PES 'B' and I received my performance bonuses annually without fail. I had also met all other requirements, i.e., Individual Physical Proficiency Tests, Annual Trainfire Programme, Body Mass Index, and Annual Proficiency Knowledge Test.

I also did not have any discipline or medical problems. The latter meant that I was still combat fit and still deployable. There are some who have not conformed to one or more of these requirements and yet are still serving in the organisation.

Till today, I am still somewhat in a state of depression at how the organisation had overlooked all my years of loyal and dedicated service.

The SAF Management Philosophy states:

'The SAF is concerned with the well-being of its people and their families, the SAF values its people, looks after them and their families so that they can give wholehearted attention to their assigned duties.'

The Defence Minister himself said last year:

'Every soldier is precious to us. Every national serviceman, every operationally ready national serviceman, every regular who serves with us is a precious and valuable person.'

The organisation failed to honour its word to allow me and many others to serve till the CRA of 55. I have a wife and two young children still attending school.

Second Warrant Officer (Retired)
Henry Minjoot

Edit (8 Nov): Too old to work, too young to retire?

Pumpkin carving is fun

With friends, that is.

More on H

For the story background, read this. To say I am disappointed with her comments is a gross understatement.

Her *interesting* quotes (from our MSN conversation):

a. On how I am like in her mind:

When discussing about her views on marriage, I typed in wah lau.

H says: don't wah lau me leh... so bengish, so not you. I got the feel you are pretty cultured, refined and poised, don't prove me wrong ok?

b. On why I am still single:

H says:
high standards or only want to find after your studies when you have established your career? or worse not interested? But you seem quite eligible, maybe you don't target people but pple target you and you not keen? hehe

c. On my accent:

H says:
I am interested to hear you slang but not use singlish. (inserts mouth-zipping MSN icon)

tk says:
I don't speak with a slang. Sorry

H says:
oops, ok. Just kidding , no hard feelings.


A reader comments:

You attract all the high class wannabes...hokkien must be so uncouth in her mind..

It is a wonder she is not choosing some (rich) white guy to be her prospective husband. I also wonder what she thinks of Black and Latino slang. But the polite me just kept quiet.

Imagine if she knows the title of this blog. *Laughs sardonically*

Motivational Posters

These are two of my favorites. More can be found here and here.

Competition vs Collaboration in Academia

Found from YoungFemaleScientist - a classic case of what can happen when a fresh PhD/post doc interviews for his/her first faculty position.

The hardest part of a faculty job search for any candidate is to define the area of research he/she wants to get into. For obvious reasons, you cannot expect to continue to work on what you did for your PhD. That would mean direct competition with your advisor, and chances are you will lose. After all, he/she is the one with the stature and prestige, and you are the Apprentice.

So most people would try to do one or two post docs to gain expertise in different area(s), before starting their careers as junior faculty. The hope is that they can combine them to do novel research in a hybrid field.

But sometimes when the field gets too crowded, the Assistant Professors, being at the lowest rung of the academic professoriate, get the shaft.

*

Which is why I have seen many of my peers/classmates/groupmates, some with multiple national/college awards for their research/publications, quit academia and leave for the industry after their PhD.

The pay is much better, even if the competitive nastiness remains the same.

Auto Theft in Arizona

I had been hit once (thankfully not the whole vehicle), and today an emergency alert came out from the company. Some buggers actually succeeded in stealing the cars/trucks from the parking lot in spite of increased security patrols.

*

Crime Statistics from the NICB. 4 states, all in the West, topped the list for 2006.

Questions my folks will definitely ask

In all of my conversations with my folks about the girl(s) I am/was seeing, several questions are always at the tip of their tongues:

"Where is she from? Where did she do her college/Grad School? What does her family do?"

If the girl is Singaporean - "Which JC and secondary school? Is she a scholar?"

Machiam like going for job interview. Very predictable.

I wonder where I will stand if gauged by my prospective bride's family in future. I hope I can pass.

This can very well apply to some Singaporean families too.

Parents draw up a list of suitable suitors for their daughters, and dinners are arranged for the prospective couples to meet. Drawing up this list of suitors is demanding: family backgrounds are investigated to determine if their status would match. Education, wealth, criminal records, political positions, and extraordinary talents are fair game for judging a prospective. This research extends not just to the suitor, but to his entire family. It is a marriage of families, not just of individuals. - Oikono, on the Korean marriage process

*

For Indian Hindus there's the caste system, which operates very similarly when it comes to marriage between two persons families.

這個打擊也太大了

*

In Taiwan, they call BBWs "恐龙". My co-worker is the first Chinese guy amongst my friends to prefer full-figured women to slim Asian beauties.

He likes bah bah ones. Such guys are known as "龙骑士".

Imagine my horror when he said she is too stick thin!


Your dressing reminded me of DHS girls' uniform, and RGS' too.



Different guys, different preferences.

Reader comments:

agrainofsand: eh, dhs uniform will not look like that. The skirt is way too short. haha

tk says:
hahah. eh, my time got girls' skirts THAT short, and Mr Kiw will always call them to the office.

agrainofsand says:
that's not representative

tk says: then yours? ankle length? LOL

agrainofsand says:
riight